Do Something Different

When I got home on Friday, December 14, I did my normal post-work social media check.  Facebook was totally buzzing about the Sand y Hook shooting.  Most of the comments were what you would expect:  “What a horrible thing to have happened!”  “I can’t imagine what these parents are going through!  I can’t wait to hold my kids!”  “This is why guns are awful!”  “This is why we need more guns!”  Pretty much what one would expect.

Then, in the middle of all of this discussion, I noticed a post that had nothing to do with Sandy Hook.  A friend of mine from high school (who I still haven’t managed to see a year after moving down to Austin) posted the following:  “Trying to spread Christmas Cheer: While in Starbucks, I added a $25 gift card to my order and told the baristas to swipe it for anyone that seemed like they were having a bad day to put a smile on their face. Merry Christmas!”

My friend didn’t plan this juxtaposition, but the contrast of all of this discussion about violence and the general outpourings of rage and disbelief with this simple, kind, and selfless act really stuck with me.  I really couldn’t put a finger on why, though.  Sure it was a nice thing to do and we could all use a little faith in humanity after hearing about someone gunning down children.  But that wasn’t it.  There was something else totally beautiful about this simple act that I couldn’t figure out.

A week later, almost no one was still talking about Sandy Hook.  The news cycle had come and gone, and our national attention span had gone back to the upcoming holiday.  I was as guilty as anyone.  We get so wrapped up in our daily lives that we can’t even continue talking about serious issues like gun control and the status of mental health in this country for a full seven days.

Then, a different friend—one I had gone to college with and hadn’t seen since—posted something.  She had bought small gift cards and left them in various places for people to find.  Each one was only a $5 Starbucks gift card (I’m not sure why Starbucks is such a popular means of expressing random kindness, but that’s neither here nor there).   However, I’m sure that the person who found the card while pumping his or her gasoline or who came out of the grocery store and read the accompanying note that just said, “You’re awesome!” was touched by this really small act.

I still had that inkling of a connection between these friends’ acts and what had happened at Sandy Hook, but I was still unable to figure out what it was that was affecting me so deeply.  What did happen, though, was that my friends inspired me.  I had read my second friend’s post just before heading to the grocery store.  While I was there, I decided to skimp a little on my own usual grocery shopping and pick up a gift card for the amount that I had saved.

After I finished loading my groceries in my car, I tried to decide which car to put it on.  It wasn’t a huge amount of money, but certainly it would mean more to some than to others, right?  As I was debating where to leave the card, a woman walked past me with two kids.  One kid was about 4-5 and the other was a toddler.  She had that bedraggled that parents get when they just can’t take anymore from their kids…or from other people…or from the world in general.  So I walked up to her handed her the card and said, “I want you to have this.”  Then I just got in my car and drove away.

I don’t know what kind of day that lady had after that, but I’d like to think that at least for a second after she looked at the card, she was touched by something nice that a stranger had done.  I felt amazing driving home. I had never really done something like this, and I was surprised at how good it felt.  As most people will attest, I’m generally a cynical person, but I’m still usually kind to most people.  This was a completely new experience, though.

During the next week, this stuck with me.  As I went about my daily life, I found little things that cost me negligible money, time, or energy but that were just nice things to do for other people.  About once per day, I was able to do something that brought a smile to someone else’s face.  I haven’t told anyone else about these little things, because it’s hard to tell people that you did something nice for someone else without sounding like you’re trying to impress them with what a great guy you are.

At some point during the last week, I realized what it was that had been sitting in the back of my mind this whole time:  This is how we change the world around us.  It’s not through grand sweeping changes, but through small, seemingly unimportant things that we shape our world.  The world is an awful, cynical, horrible place sometimes, but all it takes is that one person doing something nice for you that you didn’t expect, and the world is brighter—even if only for a few seconds.

I also realized that this is the example that we set for the next generation.  On countless movies and TV specials, children are told that the “true meaning of Christmas” is to spread joy and happiness to those around them.  Miserly old Scrooge finds redemption, etc. etc. etc.  However, during the middle of these movies and shows, they are bombarded with advertising for more new stuff that they just absolutely must have.  They see people act like complete savages during holiday sales.  They’re told these noble ideas about Christmas and how it is about family and love and taking care of others less fortunate, and then they see the most horrible, materialistic side of our society.  And these two conflicting ideas are flashed back and forth and back and forth in front of them for over a month straight.

What if they instead saw a stranger do something nice for one of their parents just because that stranger felt like doing something nice?  Better yet, what if they saw their parent do something nice for a stranger? 

So over the course of the next month or so, I’m challenging myself just once a week to take the time to seize an opportunity to do something nice for a complete stranger.  The only reason for posting this is in hopes that maybe a few other people will do the same.  So go out and try it!